Black Hawk Down | Wizard Rating:

Welcome to the wonderful wide world of sport shooting Somalis. Bring the kids folks! Sit down with your Coke and popcorn and get ready for some "Skinnie" hunting amusement park good times!

Watch in amazement as Americans get attacked on all sides by thousands upon thousands of Somalis with guns. Watch as incredibly powerful 6000 round per nano-second rotary helicopter machine guns take down those fiesty little bastards and turn them to lunch meat! Free food for their pals right? Those good 'ol Americans, always willing to help out.

Hot damn. If I had any morals at all I might be a little perterbed by this. But no, no, it's quite allright. I am moral free and Baby Jesus still loves me. This pretentious little slaughter fest that is supposed to make us root for the good guys is just fine by me!

This thing never quite explains why the Somalis are so pissed off at Americans. All we get is a blanket "they are starving so we'll save them" approach. Well geezus, if we are there to save them, why are they dragging our soldiers through the streets? And SHOOTING at them? Hot damn I say, there must be more to this than starving innocents.

By all means, go right out and see this movie. The cinematography is great, and it's a great Rambothon, filled with so much blood and bullets you'll get more than enough of your war/hunting/mame/kill hit for the rest of the year. Okay fine. Enough until next Tuesday. You can never have too many exploding heads, bullet snaps, and strewn entrails.